Thursday, January 24, 2013

The Cheesyl Conundrum and Chicken (recipe included)

We went to Interstate Kitchen last Saturday to celebrate a friend's birthday. The retro chic decor, combined with the new spin on vintage food, made for a happy Chérie. Plus, I've been in a doo-wop phase, so it tied the night in quite perfectly. As I type this, Frankie Valli is playing on Pandora. I'll let you guess which song is playing. Of course, you'd actually have to comment instead of being a blog stalker, but I'll take what I can get. ;)

Now back to the topic at hand: cheesyl. Poor Chris' salmon was undercooked, but we're going to pretend that didn't happen and the experience was perfect. As we were throwing back our retro beers (Olympia and Hamm's), waiting for the birthday boy's salmon to finish cooking, we began discussing the topic of Velveeta. We came to the conclusion that vinyl is to leather as Velveeta is to cheese. Viola! The term "cheesyl" was born.

What is Velveeta anyhow? Its cardboard box and lack of refrigeration makes me wonder, which is why I decided to take it to Wikipedia. Did you know that Velveeta was the first cheese product to gain the American Medical Association's seal of approval in the 1930s? Wow. People are actually out saving the world, and here I am, sitting on a heating pad in bed (the "Death by Thrusters" WOD was aptly named in crossfit today... I may or may not be able to squat to pee tomorrow), researching Velveeta and drinking an overly filled glass of red wine... from a box. It's official: I've reached the low part of my day.

Moving on to bigger, more important things. I perfected the buffalo wing and the Cielo Rojo (red beer) this past Sunday. Since you all sat through my ramblings on Velveeta, I'm going to reward you with the recipe for my chicken wings. You're welcome.

[Warning: lame story beginning in 5...4...3...2...1...]

For those of you who don't know me, my cooking is not exactly a science. I love science. I may or may not have had a crush on Mr. Wizard when I was a kid (perhaps that's where my love of nerdy, older white men developed?) I'm a perfectionist, but cooking is the one thing I do where I resist the confines of measuring equipment. You can't fence me in, yo'. Cooking is my therapy. The kitchen is my safe place. Yeah, I know... I sound very 1950's housewife. I'm sure any of you who have a passion for something can relate. When I cook I go into a place, and it's almost as if I'm meditating. Yes, I'm going into a pretty deep conversation over a chicken wing recipe, but they were *that* good... or maybe I was just a little hungover from Chris' birthday celebration and needed to eat after my long run.

Now is probably a great time to stop boring you with my ramblings. Besides, "Day-O (Banana Boat Song)" by Harry Belafonte just started playing on Pandora. Roxy, my miniature long-haired dachshund, is freaking out because she thinks there's a strange man in the house. Here's the recipe:

Buffalo Wings:

2 pounds chicken wings, sectioned
Coarse sea salt (or Kosher salt)
Cracked black pepper
Fresh garlic, minced (can substitute garlic powder)
Onion powder
Frank's Wing Sauce

1. Cut the wings into three sections: the drumette, the wing (the flat part with two bones) and the little tip at the end. Discard the tip at the end. It's gross, but trust me, the results are worth breaking slimy chicken bones. Wash your hands.

2. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Line a jelly roll or sheet pan with foil, and grease the foil with coconut oil to ensure the wings do not stick.

3. Place the drumettes and wings into a bowl. Sprinkle the wings with the salt, pepper, garlic and onion powder. Use your hands to ensure that all the wings are coated evenly with the seasoning.

4. Wash your hands! Then wash your hands again, because you just handled raw chicken!

5. Sanitize your work station.

6. Place the chicken in one layer on the sheet pan, making sure they do not touch.

7. Bake for 30-40 minutes, or until they are no longer pink by the bone. The wings will be a beautiful brown color.

8. Place the cooked wings into a bowl and drizzle them with the wing sauce. Toss them to ensure they're evenly coated.

9. Put the coated wings back onto the pan and cook for an additional 7 to 10 minutes.

10. Remove and enjoy!

[Note: I normally post pictures of my food. As I thought of taking a picture, I realized buffalo wing fingers and white iPhones do not mix.]


  1. Tonight, I had a "Beef and Whiz" at Which Wich, and I'll probably have another in the near future. How does Whiz stack up against Cheesyl?

  2. Whiz, like Velveeta, is a bastard cheese.