Monday, January 28, 2013

Eye Fluffing and/or Candy

[Currently listening to: "Since I Don't Have You" by The Skyliners]*

FACT: I'm a busy girl.

Who isn't though, right? I'm sure we all juggle several things in our lives. Society seems to think I should juggle more since I have a vagina. Oh, does that word offend you? It seems when I say that word people give me "that" look. The look that seems to say, "I can't believe that just came out of your mouth!" For those of you who gasped at the thought of me using "that" word, feel free to read blogs elsewhere (like the aforementioned gardening and birth story blogs, although be forewarned, the birth story blogs will probably contain that pesky "v" word.) I'm a nerd, which is why I insist on using the proper terminology when referring to anatomy. Anyhow, back to the subject at hand: juggling.

At any given time, I will have a "to-do" list running through my head. I'll refrain from listing the things I do on a regular basis here for three reasons: 1. It's too darn long, 2. You all have your own to-do lists, so you probably don't care, and 3. I'll develop anxiety from the overwhelming number of unchecked items, which I refuse to do right now, because my children are finally fed, clean, stories read, prayers said and faking to be asleep, but really reading books and listening to music on their iPods. We (me, Trevor, Chloe and you) are all going to pretend they're asleep so I can justify listening to doo-wop music in bed on my iPad, while beginning my "unwind" time by writing this blog and drinking a heart-healthy portion of Old Vine Zin.

Now where was I? Oh yeah, I was talking about being busy. I'm always busy and thinking about ideas in my head. Thank goodness for my iPhone. Seriously, I'm amazed at people who live in our society without smart phones. It's rare, but they do walk among us. I consider life before Siri as "the dark ages." How on earth did I function before I met her? Now, back to the topic of this blog. Since I'm always busy I utilize my notepad app quite regularly to jot down ideas. I have a note titled "Blog Ideas", and under it I had "Eye fluffing? Is that a real thing?" I suppose I should be more detailed with the ideas typed out in my notepad, because for the life of me, I can't remember what I was referring to when I typed out the term "eye fluffing." I usually have quite the detailed memory, but I suppose the fact that I was driving home from getting my face rocked off by Under A Blood Red Sky, our friend's U2 cover band, and chatting with Jeff and Legendary, I must have forgotten what I wanted to write about. I asked Jeff and he couldn't remember. Maybe if TLCF is reading this he'll be able refresh my memory. It's seriously driving me crazy that I can't remember. I remember when I mentioned it from the passenger seat of the car we all started laughing. I also remember having tequila on Friday, which probably contributed to my memory loss.

Speaking of getting our faces rocked off, the song "If You Wanna Be Happy" by Jimmy Soul ( came on Pandora. Yes, the song is pretty screwed up, but it's also somewhat true. Here's a sample of one of the verses:

"Don't let your friends say
You have no taste,
Go ahead and marry anyway,
Though her face is ugly,
Her eyes don't match,
Take it from me she's a better catch."

This made the wheels in my brain spin. Am I the ugly wife? Is my cooking really good, or do I just think it's good because people lie to me? Am I less of a feminist than I thought because I'm actually allowing my brain to size up my entire being as a woman simply by my looks and cooking abilities? Would I rather be a piece of eye candy with no brains or talents? This is the senseless crap that goes through my head when I can't sleep at night, which is pretty much every night. Don't get me wrong, I'm not writing this in efforts to fish for compliments... I know I'm not the prettiest girl, but I'm also not the ugliest. Hopefully my crossfit addiction has helped to nudge me a few pegs closer to the attractive side... if not, at least the strength I've gained will enable me to punch a guy a little harder for calling me ugly. ;) Yes, you can be both beautiful and talented--several people *are* both, but I'm talking about one extreme or the other. Would you rather be freakishly smart and fugly, or drop-dead gorgeous and an idiot? You have to pick one or the other. My brain functions in extremes, people.

*I've decided to put a "currently listening to" at the top of my blogs as homage to the Stranahan Whisky bottle. It's kind of cool to see what the person was listening to while preparing my whisky, and I have been known to buy the bottles that were made while the person was listening to one of my favorite songs/artists. Cheers!


  1. I know I'm not the ugly wife. I do, however, wish at times I was the ignorant wife. I'd probably get more sleep.